You’ve got engaged. Congratulations! Now prepare yourselves for the onslaught of decisions, family politics, budgeting, and your great Aunt’s cousin lobbying for that elusive place on table seven.
I meet so many couples, friends included, that start planning their wedding with all the good intentions to live their best lives, pick all their favourite things (raindrops on roses ’n’ all), and want to do it their way. Fast forward a few months and you’re in the thick of it. You realise that legally you can’t have the outdoor wedding you both wanted because you in order to put pen to certificate you have to be in a registered dwelling. Your budget doesn’t stretch to have the band, the DJ, the florist, the five tier cake, the photographer, the venue, the dress and the illustrator that are all on your wish list. Your Grandma can’t understand why you don’t fancy a church wedding, and in all honesty you’re at the point where you’re sneaking online at work, sending your other half deals for destination elopements in French Polynesia.
This is where The F**k It Bucket comes in. I’d like to take credit but it’s been circling the stratosphere for a bit now. In relation to weddings, it’s a chance to take a step back from the chaos sitting in your ever-growing scrapbook of your ‘perfect day’ and realise what actually matters to you. Essentially the actual legal malarkey, ‘do you take blah blah’, ‘I do’, signing on the dotted lines, can take approximately five minutes in a registry office with you, your significant other and the registrar. That is it. It should cost about £40 and you’re married. Everything else in your wedding is an extra. So screw the preconceived thoughts of what makes a wedding, once you remove the nagging inclination that you have to tick certain obligatory boxes, you find you have room to welcome more personable aspects. Have a look below at some of my favourite alternative wedding traditions that I've seen in some recent weddings.
Who writes the rules on what you have to wear for your wedding? YOU.
Have both your parents walk you down the aisle - groom included! Or none of your parents for that matter.
The women have something to say... Not just the bridesmaids - I'm looking at you too mothers and brides!
Can't legally get married in a field? Who cares? You'll figure that s**t out.
So start throwing things in The F**k It Bucket. One of the traditions I’ve noticed being tossed out are the wedding favours. Used primarily to make your wedding tables look pretty, the wedding favours are either forgotten about the moment the dance floor is open for business, or shoved into a tiny clutch to be lost to the Monica cupboard at home for the rest of eternity (unless of course it's a consumable good -. then it's gone within three seconds of the guest making out their name place card). The average spend on wedding favours is approximately £1 - £2 per person, so is probably not going to break your wedding budget, but if that money could go towards the authentic pizza oven that you want instead then do it! Trust me, people will not be talking about the lack of table favours in the aftermath of your wedding day... Some either wedding F**k It Bucket ideas to get your cogs turning;
Want to walk each other down the aisle instead of parents?
Want to have a bbq style wedding meal in stead of the traditional sit down table service?
Can't afford to have all your bridesmaids AND buy them a gift? (I'll let you in on a secret, they won't really mind if they don't get a matching necklace)
Don't want to have the three-tier cake and would rather have your favourite Krispy-Kreme doughnuts?
I could go on and on about different ideas that could go into The F**k It Bucket of your wedding, but it’s not my place to say what is and isn’t important to you about your wedding day, and nor is it anyone else’s. So, as hard as it might be, ignore the traditions you've grown up knowing, and those thoughts that are being whispered in your ears by everyone around you, sit back, talk to each other about what's important, and create a wedding that's personable and memorable to you.
Sarah x